Monday, April 7, 2014

Crossroads Part 1

I have been looking for a certain book about a particular issue/s.  I have looked and checked all my favorite Christian Authors and beyond and have found nothing.  All the secular articles and book excerpts I've read about the subject leave me feeling empty and doesn't seem to me that they are the way that God would want me handle the issues.  God is number one in my life.  At the same time, I still believe in common sense and believe God wants me to have it while I think about decisions and choices that have to be made.

This all being said, I wonder if this is the book that God wants me to write?  About a year or so ago I gave all my hopes and dreams to God.  My reasoning for that, my prayer to God was that I wanted my dreams, my passions to line up with His plans for my life.  In the meantime since then, I learned more about Him in His Word.  I learned and continue to learn tonnes of new things in counseling.  There is no end to what we can study in the Bible about God.  In fact, I get overwhelmed and when that happens I step back too far so I've been learning to keep it simple.

I call myself a writer though I haven't written much lately.  The last few weeks I have had several instances of hints that perhaps  it is time to write my story.  I think about it and it scares me to death but maybe it's time for me to take down the wall of fear that is surrounding my heart and surrender my fears to God.  Yes, I know what I'm supposed to do but for some reason acceptance is hard for me.  Acceptance in any area really.  To me, acceptance isn't just acknowledging something, but it has to change your life.  Even for those of us who have been dealing with things a certain way ( that doesn't work ) the whole idea of accepting something new ( and the fact that it just might work) is the hardest and scariest thing to do.  It's easy to be in our comfort zone of just accepting things for what they have become.  Change is hard, but it necessary especially if you want to be in God's will for your life. I want my life to reflect Christ in everything I say and do. 

I'm at a crossroad right now and it's time to make some decisions.  It's time to write.


LauraK said...

Exciting, scary, thrilling, nerve-wracking. Crossroads are all of those, aren't they? And, honestly, I think I'm nearing one myself. Thank you for writing these words and for sharing your courage to explore what God would have you do.

Wyndy said...

Change comes when the pain of not changing is more than the pain of changing. Perhaps you are not writing because you do not what anyone to criticize what you write. Just because you write something, it doesn't mean that you have let others read it. The written word doesn't have to be published. Or perhaps you just don't want to see it in black and white where you will have to acknowledge that you do have those thoughts. But then, seeing those thoughts that you don't like may just help you get over them and move on instead of letting them mull around willy nilly in your mind upsetting you. And maybe you are just plain scared of moving forward. It could be so many different reasons. Perhaps just writing in a small sealed book or part of your blog is what will calm your thoughts the most.