Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Day after USA Election thoughts

I can’t and I won't carry the burden for something that isn’t mine, anymore. Being a co-dependent from way back and in the recovery process, it’s easy for me to take things very personally when I have no right to do so. In doing that, I damage myself and make myself physically ill.

The American election was yesterday and Donald Trump was voted in as President. The people spoke and he won. Simple. I don’t believe that the prophets were right or anything like that and I don’t even believe that God chose to bless the United States rather than bring judgment ( Franklin Graham's words). I think that is ridiculous thinking. God is love. The judgement is consequences of actions and sin. He is a God of love, not wrath and condemnation. Anyway, that might strike a few cords.

Back to my point. Reading through my facebook feed this morning I see many friends in deep deep mourning, I see friends happy and excited and I see some being downright rude. It gets to me. You don’t know how often I delete stuff. Lol I am happy for my friends that are happy but when you show contempt and rudeness and then have the nerve to say that this is God’s choice, I’ll be honest, I want to slap you. Yes, I have that streak in me sometimes. The flesh comes forward and I’m ready to pounce. This makes me very agitated and stressful and can even cause panic attacks. See what I am doing? I am allowing someone elses behavior and words affect me. That’s a huge thing that codependents too. I could take it to the other end and say that it’s because I am over sensitive. I may be, but when people go so far to allow other people’s decisions and behaviors affect them to the point that I do, I call it a disorder and something that needs to be dealt with. So yes, I am beside myself with the way some people who call themselves Christians are acting today and yet, I get caught up with it and I want to slap you. The goose is no better than the gander is it?

Friends, I’m going to take the advice of Steve McVey and be counter-cultural and show love and grace, esp toward those who are annoying me so much. I’m going to do that because Christ lives in me and me in Him. I’m going to do that because it is part of my nature as a Christian. I am going to act according to the nature I have in me because of Christ.

And, if I really have to I will hide you on facebook, because that’s the way I roll. <3 p="">

Blessings to you my friends!

Sunday, November 6, 2016

One meaning of Grace

There is so much I a thankful for as I am on this spiritual journey. One of the greatest things I have learned was a meaning of grace. There are several including that Grace is a person ( yes, I totally agree with that one too). I was taught this in counseling:

Grace is allowing people to believe what they believe and do it with respect.

These words allow me to have all kinds of conversations with people of different beliefs...whether they be religious, political; you name it. I will not throw my beliefs on you but if you are interested in knowing what I think, I would love to share. This way of thinking has allowed me to see people in a new and different light and taking the knowledge that they are loved by the same amazing and loving God I am, I can’t help but love them and even respect them even if they believe totally opposite of me.

As I read all the posts on facebook, I see so much that goes against what I was taught and learned about grace. Even in the grace community, they are so frustrated with Evangelical Christians that it comes off as so harsh and even hateful ( sometimes ). They are being no different from those who have done it to them (the Evangelical Christians they are talking about). Something I am learning is I am not interested in going from one group of Christians to another. I’m not interested in the bickering and snarking. I just want to journey with Jesus. I just want to get to know Him more and more; and that’s what I am doing.

I believe way different that what I used to. I believe in a God of Love. Love for everyone. I also have discovered that the most important thing we need to know as Christians is who we are in Christ and that should start from DAY 1. Everything you do and say comes down to identity and who you believe you are versus who you truly are in Christ. There is such pain and hurt in the Christian community and I truly believe it’s because they don’t know how loved they are by God and what that means.

Anyway, I guess I should be thankful for this American election and I should be thankful for my path that led me to my counseling in the first place. I can’t say I truly am thankful for those two things but I can tell you that I have sure learned a lot from BOTH of them and I got to use what I learned in counseling to put toward the people through this American election and allow them to believe what they want (though, I did make a couple posts to the contrary). :)

Blessings to you my friends. I won’t promise to write more on this. My writing is sparatic these days but at least I’m doing it now. :)

Sunday, October 23, 2016

An evening with Wm. Paul Young ( author of The Shack)




Wally and I were fortunate enough to go to Spruce Grove to listen to and meet Wm. Paul Young ( the author of The Shack ). There were close to 30 of us adults here and several children. We started off with an amazing potluck supper.

We then got to enjoy the music of Alana Levandoski. I had never heard of her but I ended up buying both of her CDs. I very rarely listen to music anymore. I’ve just been so discouraged by it. I enjoy Alana’s music. It is totally different than what I have listened to in the past, but it calms me. I need that.

Wally and I were one of the first ones there so I was able to talk to Paul. He was exactly as I imagined him to be; He was kind and very humble. He was easy to converse with and I was hardly even stuttering so...that’s a good thing. I find it hard to talk with people I just meet but he made me feel calm. I am drawn to people like that. Those are the kinds of people I need around me most.

I won’t get into the meat of what he talked about right now, but I do want to share something that I found very cool. I loved how he answered questions. He didn’t “directly“ answer the question but he used stories and examples to get the asker to look at it from a different perspective. I have learned through counseling (not directly) that it was good for me to come to the answers to my questions myself. When I would ask Iran a question he didn’t usually answer it, but showed me through stories and examples that maybe am seeing things through the wrong perspective...not necessarily through the truth ( though it may be the truth as I know it). As it would always end up, I was asking the wrong question and I came to that realization through this process. It makes you search yourself and listen to Holy Spirit for the answer. These are the only two men I have ever seen do this. It’s so awesome!

Another thing, on the way home Wally and I talked a bit about Paul’s book, The Shack, and about what he shared about it. Wally said he didn’t have the issues with it that Paul said most people did (the way he portrayed God). I didn’t either. I read the book as a story and I enjoyed it very much but then I made the mistake of telling others, esp my evangelical Christian friends. They told me how bad it was and how heretic this book was ( most of them hadn't even read it). Because I was a follower (and esp when it came to religion) I went with it and believed it. I never read it again (until recently) and never talked about it. I regret that. I’m not going to get into the details about what Paul shared about that because frankly, I’m not interested in explaining and defending what I believe. And for the record, much of what Paul shared was very encouraging to Wally and I. It confirmed that the path we are on is the right one.

This is just a little taster. I’ll decide later in the week if I will share more!!! Blessings my Friends!!

I love you!

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Something Happens: Part 1



 
Here I am doing something I never thought I would do again.  Write and blog.  We will see where it all takes me but while I have the words, the gumption, and something to say...Let's do this thing.  Thank you Lord!

This is a little series I am writing about MOI!  Some details won't be shared at this time but maybe just maybe, a peak into my mind will help someone out just a little bit if not just show you that you aren't alone.  The series is called Something Happens and I will post little installments once or twice a week ( providing I have it ready ).  Enjoy.  ( and enjoy the fun little picture of me and my family taken Christmas 2015 ). 


 Something Happens ( Part 1 ).   

I hit rock bottom a few years ago.  It was during that time I gave up all my hopes and dreams for the future.  I tried to live my life daily (which I had to).  When life is so hard sometimes you don’t have a choice but to deal with it moment by moment.  Weirdly enough, that is how we are supposed to live all the time and now I am starting to learn that in a positive way.  What got me through those years of lost dreams and unbelief was counseling and unlearning what I thought was the truth and starting to learn what I am realizing is the truth.  Unfortunately, I’m a slow learner so I imagine this will be a slow and sometimes painful process my whole life BUT knowing it is truth and knowing the TRUTH will set me free makes me carry on and want to learn more.   











Friday, May 29, 2015

Celebrate Recovery



Long time, no post. :)  Did you miss me?  

I have been doing the Celebrate Recovery program on my own since January.  I know there are benefits of doing it with a group but at this time, on my own is best for several reasons.  Anyway, I am almost done the first workbook.  I'm on Principle 3 that reads:  We consciously choose to commit all our lives and will to Christ's care and control.  We make the decision to TURN every aspect of our lives and will over to our Higher Power, Jesus Christ.  In order to turn our lives over to Christ's care and control, we need to take ACTION.  

So basically I work through the highlighted words ( each letter stands for a word or phrase along with a Bible verse.  It's really a great set up to do on your own if you are like me and feel that need.  Then what I do is write a short ( or long ) blurb in my journal about what I learned that day and whatever else I need to get off my chest.  It's been working good for me. 

I say all this to share with you what I ended today's blurb with.  As a perfectionist in certain areas, I tend to quit if I can't do it perfect according to my standard which is pretty high and my profound thought for the day is:


Maybe I need to quit, quit trying.  :)

Have a GREAT weekend friends and God's Blessings Abounding!!




Friday, April 10, 2015

You Are Good Enough





 I sent out an email this week and this morning it started bothering me.  It was a short email.  What bothered me most about it is the question I asked at the end of the email: “Is that good enough?”  When I think of that comment and I think of some of the things I learned though counseling and one of my biggest issues is the way I see myself.  I see myself as not important and my opinions not important either.  This is a very unhealthy way to live and it is something I am in recovery from, but aside from that, it has never bothered me about something I had said until today.   I shared my plan that I had already decided on.  That should be good enough.  It is good enough.  My plan didn’t stray far from the issue and it isn’t even a big deal, but the fact that it bothered me that I said it, is a huge deal to me.  It shows me that I am recognizing more and more that I need to be better to me.  It also shows me that perhaps I’m more in tune to the Holy Spirit pointing these out to me, than I have been in the past. It shows me that God is,  by far, not through with me.  

I will take this moment as a victory and Praise God for Him and thank Him for this amazing moment.  He is indeed GOOD!  

I hope that if you are reading this that you will know that YOU are good enough too.  Don't second guess yourself and who you are and what you say.  YOU are worth it and YOU rock!


 

Friday, January 30, 2015

Lesson Learned






In two separate conversations in the last 24 hours I have said to two different people, " I'm glad I didn't give up."  Both of these situations are close to my heart and one of them is pretty much my whole life and I chose to persevere through the pain.  Simply, God gave me NO way out but He stayed with me through the suffering.  I can't say it's all good now, but I can say, TODAY is good and I'm so glad I didn't give up!  I am learning to live one day at a time and be thankful for what I have today.  The past is painful and the future is scary...today is what I have and it's good.

Thank you GOD for never leaving my side, for being my strength and thank you that you have never changed and that you will continue to be by my side.  ♥♥♥♥♥